.:La Musica:.

Music is powerful. It can control the very mood you are in.

If you listen to happy, vibrant music, most likely, you will be in a happy mood.

The same goes for other types or genres as well. I find myself being conformed to the music and feeling the way the artist expresses his or herself. If they present themselves as angry, my mood may change to dreary and unhappy.

Often times, I listen to music to make me feel better. Sometimes, if I am in a less than okay mood, I listen to what I call "angry music" because I feel that I can relate to how the artist is feeling.

On most days, you will find me listening to what I call "Jesus Music." It makes me feel good, and, I don't have to worry about anger or depression.

.:Addiction:.

Late last night I realized that I have an unhealthy addiction.

It's not what you automatically think when you hear the word (addiction). It's more of an addiction to love, and generally, I look to books to find it.

I am currently reading a series, for the second time, that I will not mention, because to some of you, it would seem rediculous, when I say that I find truelove here.

I do not read the gushy romance novels that most women pick up; those to me are like porn in words. I don't like. it.

I find love in the book I am currently reading in the language used, the way the girl acts in stupid ways just to see or hear her lover. I can feel her unrequited love as she finally opens up after he leaves, "for her sake."

She loves him. I want to love like that, and be loved like that. So much, that when I'm not in the presence of that person, I begin to anticpate just seeing them the next time.

God's love for us is the same way. I know that he loves me so much, that when I am hurting, he is there to lift me up. I can find love in him, and he can return that love to me. The unrelenting power of love is what draws me in. It has a magnetic force so strong, that standing in the wake of it makes me sway, gently, until I feel it.

Eyes.Looking.Back

Often times, I struggle with things that life throws at me, and sometimes wonder if I have made the right decision.

There have been events recently that have made me just wonder why I even continue to be apart of that life.

I, along with God's help, have made the decision to cut myself off from those people who have called me friend, but now I wonder if they really meant it.

It is best for me. For my relationship with God, and for my sanity and life in general.

God has made it possible for me to make these decisions. Sometimes through song, and other times through actions of people.

Yes, it is hard for me to just drop what I'm comfortable with, but it had to be done.

I have debated finding the counseling center at my school, but I never seem to "find the time."

As of now, I am relying, again, on God, and real friends who actually care.